Sometime back in May Noggin and Nickelodeon began showing commercials for a stuffed animal called a "Furberry". They were apparently, stuffed bears, dogs, and cats, that rolled up into a giant fruit and smelled of the fruit they rolled into. They played these commercials at least once an hour, every hour. If the TV was on for more then a half hour, you can bet that a Furberry commercial was soon to air.
Mayhem was smitten.
In a big way.
In a HUGE way.
Frankly, it was the most adorable, heartfelt nagging we have ever been subject to.
"Mommy, can I have a Furberry?"
"We'll see."
"Mommy! I found a money! Is it enough to buy a Furberry?"
Clutching her found money, a single dirty penny, in her fist, she handed her worldly wealth over to me.
"Baby. I will talk to Daddy. We'll see where we can get one tonight."
Budget be damned. That baby was getting a Furberry.
One problem.
The damn things weren't on the market yet.
I couldn't get a hold of one for love or money, and there was no info anywhere on when they'd actually be on the market.
Through a little research, we found out who made them. And under guise of being a small boutique toy store, Smart Ass went to work.
They apparently wouldn't be ready for market until the new fiscal year, which for that company, was August/September.
Those bastards advertised this toy, heavy rotation style, 4 full months before these damn things would hit store shelves.
That kind of cruelty should've been outlawed in the Geneva Convention.
So we tell our small and sweet little Mayhem, "Honey bee, the Furberries aren't being made yet. But they should be ready in time for your birthday!"
"They don't make the Furberries?"
"Not yet baby."
"I found another money. We should put it away to get a Furberry."
BASTARDS!
The next five months were torture for us. Every time little Mayhem came running to us, a look of joy on her face, with a grubby penny laying in the center of her hand, asking, "Do we have enough money for a Furberry now?" I would mist up, and choking back tears I would say, "Baby, don't you worry about the money ok? When the Furberries are in stores, I promise you, you will have one."
And poor Smart Ass. Every night, he'd be greeted at the door with a "Daddy! Did you bring me home a Furberry?!"
It gutted us.
I have been checking major toy store websites every single day since then.
On Tuesday, I hit paydirt.
2 Furberries are on their way to our house. One Strawberry puppy, and one Cherry Bear. (Because Havoc will need one if Mayhem has one)
He has already been named.
"Pup"
She is planning on taking him out to the backyard when he gets here. So he can "go pee pee". Because dogs don't use the bathroom.
I swear, on all that I hold dear, if I ever meet the marketing jerk who thought it'd be a great idea to create "buzz" about Furberries before they were even close to hitting the market, he will crawl away from that meeting sore, bruised, and bloodied, but with a much clearer idea of why he should not do that.
But then, if I did, what would people have to nag me about?
I'm always thinking of others.
I should get a Nobel Prize.
I am chuffed as all get out to see they have a Sci-Fi theme now! Yay for me!
If only they had a Dr. Who theme. I am so into that show lately! I love the current Doctor. He's hilarious.
He just has this half crazed, slightly insane look about him that I find charming and perfectly suited to a guy who spends his life (lives?) traveling through time.
This week marks the beginning of the new TV season. As I am a massive TV addict, this is a big deal for me.
I expect to be overjoyed with the return of Heroes, The Office, My Name is Earl, and 30 Rock. And I'm super looking forward to the new shows that are premiering that I can't really name right now.
Thank God I have a DVR now. It's probably one of the greatest inventions ever, right after indoor plumbing, and coffee makers.
Karen tagged me. This means I have to write 5 things most people don't know about me.
These kinds of things are hard for me. I never remember if I've told people something or not.
So if I repeat myself, well... forgive, yeah?
1. I read Dante's Inferno in the original Italian Dialect. It was really difficult, because, first, it's a medieval dialect, and second, it differs a bit from modern day Italian. (Did you know Italy did not have a unified, national language until the 1960's? S'true.)
2. I despise loading the dishwasher more than any chore. I'll scrub a toilet. I'll get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor. Just don't make me unload the dishwasher. I have no idea why. It's right up there with folding laundry for me. A miserable, miserable way to spend your time.
3. I am trying to teach myself to juggle. No real reason, other than it was on my list of things to do before I die. I'm not doing very well. Thanks for asking. :p
4. I am extremely loud. I yell when I'm happy, I yell when I'm angry. I just make a lot of noise. I really can't help myself. The one time I lost my voice my kids all thought I was really angry with them and would cry when I came in the room. A lot of hugging went on that day to make sure everyone knew I wasn't mad. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt.
5. I would consider myself an optomist. I think that, generally, I have a cheerfull outlook on life, and try not to wallow in the negativity. Not that I never feel negative. In fact, I tend to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. That way, if the best happens, it's a great surprise. If the worst happens, no big deal, I'm ready for it.
So.. 5 things about me that you may, or may not, know!
Mangia!
Oh! And since I'm here:
QOTD:
How do you pass the time during a flight? What do you bring in your carry-on?
As if I fly often enough. :p
I read, or listen to headphones.
In my carry- on, I bring a snack, a water, and said book and headphones. Also, and extra pair of underwear and a toothbrush and toothpaste, and my wallet.
You never know when your luggage may decide to go on vacation without you.
...items that may or may not interest.
For Ragdoll:
Guitar Hero 2 is the sequel to the shockingly named Guitar Hero 1. It's for the PS2 and is so much fun it's sick. It's essentially a rhythm game where you hit the different colored buttons on the neck of the guitar controller and "strum" in time with the little colored globs coming down the screen. Sounds easy enough, but it sure as hell isn't. Unless, maybe, you know how to play a real guitar. Which I don't. Flute training never prepared me for this kind of finger breaking hand contorting agony.
It's brought equal amounts of hatred and deep affection for the bands whose music I mangle. Like, I now have a seething hatred for The Butthole Surfers and Primus that I had never harbored before. While holding a soft spot in my heart for the Foo Fighters and dare I utter it? Warrent's Cherry Pie. Cause I fucking own on that song.
For those about to rock, I'd salute you, but I pulled a muscle while rocking out.
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QOTD:
You're trapped in a (temporarily) out of order elevator - who would you like to be trapped with?
Easy. Elevator repair man.
However, if this is a fantasy world... Michael C. Hall. But only if we made out while waiting to be rescued. If that wasn't gonna happen, absolutly the elevator repair guy.
Or rather, me. Mayhem has been on a Finding Nemo kick as of late. We cycle through movies here at Chataeu Smart Ass. A few months ago, I watched Howl's Moving Castle twice a day every day for a solid month. Before that it was Chicken Little. All kids go through this phase. It helps them feel comfortable and relaxed in the face of growing independence. Coping mechanism and all that jazz.
Now here's a coping mechanism for you, that does not involve gallons of hard liquor.
What to do During the 50th Showing of *Insert Children's Movie Here* (A comprehensive guide)
1. Make friends with your couch.
This means sleep. Pile the offending child or children behind your legs and invest in some "you" time. This can also be accomplished on the floor if you have 2+ children or bigger kids. Just make a pile of pillows and blankets and cat nap. It will leave you refreshed, and insanity free!
2. Read.
What?! Like... a book? Yeah. A book. Or the paper. This is the best way to combat a kid movie overdose. Imerse yourself in stodgy adulthood. Or go the more enjoyable route and read some fiction.
3. Do your taxes.
Again, adult activity to combat kids movie. Of course, this really can only be preformed once a year. So don't waste it.
4. Balance the checkbook.
This is boring though. I suggest you leave it for your spouse.
5. Do a craft!
This has a downside in that, your children may become more interested in the craft than the movie and you'd loose your "me time".
6. I guess... maybe... you could do housework.
But why?
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Notice how I'm breaking up my thoughts in this post? I think it'll help people who aren't used to my "stream of consciousness train of thought".
We have recently discovered, thanks to Guitar Hero 2, that sweet, gentle,adorable little Havoc has a taste for Black Sabbath. Mainly War Pigs. She sways and bops and wiggles to it. it's so sweet and cute, you can almost forget that she's wiggling her little baby butt to Ozzy Osbourne.
Speaking of Guitar Hero 2, I have become quite obsessive about getting 5 stars on every song, on every level. Last night, Smart Ass got perfects and 5 stars on every song in Easy. Which has, of course, made me now crave perfects too. I have only gotten 2 songs in to Medium while Smart Ass has moved on to Hard. Now I have to go back and get perfects on everything in Easy. Damn it.
Also, for some reason, I now have a new found apreciation for "Shout At The Devil" by Motley Crue. (I can't put the umlats in, so... suck it up) This disturbs me more than I can say....
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QOTD:
In which fictional world/universe/land/city would you most like to live?
Hmmmm... part of me says Metropolis, cause frankly, I'd like to have a little sit down with Superman. Dude needs therapy.... but then again,maybe Gotham instead... but really, the amount of chemicals that are constantly put in the water and air there by The Joker is pretty freaking disturbing... So.. since I'm clearly a nerd... WoW? No...No no no. I prefer indoor plumbing and walking down the street without getting eaten thankssomuch.... Maybe the Firefly 'verse? Well... I prefer my steaks made of cows.. even if there is a Mal in that 'verse... Alien was a pretty kick a... never mind... um....Oh! I'd like Howl's Moving Castle's world. Advanced enough where you get to go to the bathroom inside, and still magical.
And no aliens with acid drool to eat you.
31 years old today. I would call myself firmly ensconsed in adult hood. Though, with the current condition of my skin you'd think I was just hitting puberty. Double Ewe Tee Eff, as the kids might say.
My plans for the day are simple.
Smart Ass comes home early, I will take a shower and a nap, then head to Target. ALONE!!!! I am sick excited about that.
I will come home to someone else deciding on and getting dinner.
Then I get to be a nerd and play some WoW. Zul Gurub tonight baby.
Good times. Good times.
What did I ask for from my kids?
Quiet.
I don't think I'll be getting it this year.
Oh well. Maybe next year.
Friday I will go out to dinner and a kung fu movie with Smart Ass.
Question of the Day (AkA: "The Vox Thinger")
What's something that you're really proud of, which most people in your life don't know about?
I won a poetry contest when I was 8. It was sponsored by the local paper and JC Penny.
My poem was published in the paper, and I won a gift certificate to JC Penny.
Since it was a Father's Day poetry contest and the poem was about my Dad, I used the money to buy him a shirt.
He can't fit in it anymore, it's really old and worn out, but I'll be damned if the man doesn't still have that thing hanging in his closet. :) I don't exactly remember what the poem was about, but I know it isn't the lame piece of crap my Mom thinks it was (some sort of "Roses are Red" rip off).
I wish I had cut the article out and saved it. That'd be something cool to give to my Dad, all matted and framed. :)
Shall we?
Today's Vox thinger: "What's the most obsessive-compulsive thing you do in a normal day?"
Let's see... there's fixing the curtains after it's dark out. I get completely creeped out by the idea that someone can see me, but I can't see them. So as soon as it starts to get dark out, every blind and curtain in my house gets closed.
I can't ever live in one of those houses with floor to ceiling windows. I'd go nuts if I couldn't put curtains or blinds over them. I don't care if I'm in the woods and there's only squirrels and deer out there. I don't want them watching me eat dinner. Freaks.
I also have a strict "sleep routine" that must be tended to, or I can't sleep.
Bathroom door and closet door must be closed.
All the blankets must be "right side up" with the tags or the "defined" bottom part, near my feet. (and this goes for my husband, and children's blankets too)
No feet hanging out of the blankets, or over the bed.
My hair can't be touching me.
I have to have at least a comforter.
Do not touch me while I sleep! I don't like to sweat.
And for the love of God, unless you want to loose some teeth, do not touch my feet to wake me up. It's not that I'm freaked out by feet or anything. I just have a very active imagination, and do not want to wake up thinking something snaked it's hand out from under the bed and grabbed my feets. As monsters and serial killers are wont to do.
See? Perfectly reasonable.
