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So Smart Ass and I are chubby folk. And we're looking to become unchubby. We decided that we'd get a treadmill and walk across various and sundry locations for kicks, and that maybe, we'd make a fun game of it. Sort of a "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" but on a treadmill. And with no bike at the end. And not as weird.
Anywho, it got here today, by freight. I have never, ever had anything delivered by freight before. But I assumed (dumbass...) that they would have big hulking men come in and carry that shit upstairs and assemble it.
No. One dude plopped it on our front porch and gave us this advice "Tip it onto the side that says "Place on This Side" and then slide it on up." Hey thanks for that invaluble advice Abigail Van Buren! I'd have been lost without it!
Lucky for us it's Wednesday, which around nerd households nation wide means, New Comic Book Day. So Radmaster Ricq came to take Smart Ass off to the CBS. Which meant he got to be the sucker to help him lug that behmoth up the stairs. The did fabulously, and didn't remove any of my drywall in the process. WOO! It is now assembled, and awaiting the breaking in.
I'm going to start by walking across Rhode Island. The Littlest State. I can probably do that. I expect I will get a ton of reading done. Which is nice.
I'm looking forward to Soup Plantation tonight. But first, I have to stop by Pottery Barn to return my Star Wars sheets.
They're too stimulating.
Well not ages, but long enough.
I'm tired, I'm salty, I hardly have anything to write about, but I still feel the need to write something.
I'm wondering if it might be time for me to change blogging devices.
I have tried them all, pretty much. 'Cept Wordpress.
I kind of like the workings of Vox, but at the same time, do not. You see, I am a fickle gal.
What I really need to do is stop being a raging dork. But that ain't happening anytime soon. So lame ass ramblings are what you're going to get.
Umm... what's going on... not doing derby anymore, but everyone knows that already...
Probably not going to get to move back to NY, because Smart Ass and I have Great Fears about moving out there and then being stranded if he looses his job.
In lighter news... I have taken up the guitar, with the ultimate goal being to learn to play the blues. Cause lord knows, there ain't nothing more bluesy then being a 30 something white suburban stay at home mom. Sing it! I think the hardest part is getting my fingers to understand that they have to move. With the flute, you kind of just leave your fingers in their spots, and you know, press or don't. There's quite a bit more co-ordination involved in guitar playing, and we all know, I am not co-ordinated. So, little hard. I like it though. It's a challenge and that keeps the brain nimble.
As we are just hitting the cusp of spring, many hands, most of them little, are rubbing together with plans for a veg garden of epic proportions. There will be tomatoes a plenty, pickles that taste like cucumbers (as Mayhem calls them) peppers, the whole nine. Even horseradish!
I intend to take pictures of the progress. I think it'll be fun to watch the Wild Things cavort in the garden and grow things with their little green fingers.
You might like it too.
So last night was my very first night of Roller Derby!
It started out with me getting so horribly lost that I was an hour late. I hate Map Quest directions. I don't know why I continue to use them. THey put all sorts of completely useless info in the directions like "255 South towards 44W" and then you think "Ok, so I take 44 West.
Wrong my dear. You do NOT take 44 West unless you want to go to Six Flags.
And I did not want to go to Six Flags.
So, panicked cell call to the Smart Ass finally put me on the right road, and I eventually found it.
I felt horribly lonely. Miserably self conscious, and oddly determined. I did the running drills (which I freaking HATE) did my skating (which I really like. It was crazy relaxing) only fell once! (Go me! Luckily my ass is heavily padded and I sustained nothing more then a bruise to the ego and my knuckles. Cause I had my wrist braces on wrong. *is a dork*)
Fall drills were tough for me. I need to fall softer, and I have a hard time getting up without putting my hands on the floor. That'll come though with muscle strength.
I got lost on the way home too... *sigh*
Everyone was very nice to me, and offered lots of tips. I hope I didn't come off as too much of a miserable bitch. I was just trying to stay focused and I felt awful lonely and self conscious.
I'll get over that eventually too.
Side note: I'm really looking forward to applying the fall drills to my everyday life...if only I could chase my children while being heavily padded.
Sept. 29th my lads and lasses. That is when I start actual Derby practice. I have to make 7 practices a month, and I have to make every Monday practice. They recommend starting out doing 3 practices a week, but you can move to 2 a week once you get the hang of things. It's 3 hours of practice, and I have no doubt that it will be hard, exhausting, and painful, and I have never been so excited in my life.
They said that you are a Rollergirl the moment you join, and in three months of making all my practices I get my name. (Which will be Nora Snarls, friends and neighbors) They say it's essentially, at least, a one year commitment.
Which is good, because then I won't feel like I need to hurry to get better, I can just go at my own pace.
Did I mention how excited I am?
I've got a month more of my own mini practices, so hopefully I'll be a little stronger, and I won't get winded as easily by the time September 29th comes around. WOO!
You wouldn't *think* that skating would kill your ankles but it really, really does. It's probably because speed skates, have no ankle support. Maybe that little tiny bit of ankle support in your average, garden variety mass market skate makes you bulky and overloaded...
Here's the skates I have btw:
So my kick ass argyle knee socks don't match as well as they would've if they were black.
Oh well. The white shows blood better.And yes... there's already blood on them, but it's just from a hang nail getting caught in the laces, not an actual injury. Maybe I'll get some markers and graffiti them up. That would be fun!
Speaking of injuries, my pinkie still hurts. Just when I think I've finally healed up, I'll accidentally whack it on something, or I'll, you know, use it, and it'll ache like a mofo. Elbows are totally healed, and this pay period I'll be buying my knee and elbow pads.
Not too much longer until I'm hitting practices for reals yo! Tons of gals racing around in a circle, me, flailing and knocking everyone down, crashing into walls and catching on fire... it'll be awesome.
But I'm also super nervous. For some reason I'm just really nervous about people watching me do anything, no matter what it is, or how good or bad I am at it. I get really self conscious around people I don't know well. I know, so dumb, I'm a grown woman for Christ's sake! I could get into the deeper reasoning for it, but I don't really care to. It's something that I really want to get over, so I'm just gonna freaking get over it. I'm super excited about Derby, I know I'll love it and have so much fun. It's something I've wanted to do for a very long time. And in the end, all those reasons outweigh how nervous and self conscious I am. I really hope, that by getting over this issue I have, I'll show my girls that they can be happy with who they are, and do things they like and want to do, and not worry about what me, or anyone else thinks of it. That they can just be happy being themselves, instead of feeling like they have to apologize for who they are.
This post has become too serious. Let's talk about coffee.
I think I need to find an online coffee store thing like Republic of Tea, but for coffee. I don't want to be part of a monthly coffee club, I have been there and done that and it's a pain in the ass. I want to buy coffee from them when I feel like it, not when they feel like it. But I also want to try a bunch of different, fancy kinds of coffee. Where, oh where, can I do that without joining some stupid club and without having "scheduled deliveries"?
Slight tangent from coffee, I have decided to learn how to make rustic tarts. Especially with apples, since it's almost apple picking season, and we'll be going. Probably weekendly (that's not really a word, but I'm committed to it.), since my kids are hard core apple addicts. It's a good thing apples are legal or they'd be on street corners, whispering to passers by, "Pssssst, got any apples man? Golden Deliscious, Fuji, I ain't picky.... Macs are good, you got any Macs? Granny Smith? Come on man I need a fix!!!!"
Our neighbors have an apple tree and they're expecting it to be filled this year, they told us we could have as many as we want, and to just pop over and grab some. I told her she'd be my kids' hero, since they ador apples and eat them at every meal (no kidding, they really do).
Speaking of apples, I'm being summoned to chop up the midday gorge.
Much progress has been made in my training! I can do some pretty tight turns on the skates, my balance is a ton better, and my calves and thighs are starting to gain some nice muscle. I'm pretty excited, since I ordered a bunch of clothes last week, and when they finally got here, and I tried them on, they are about to be too big! Woo!
But also, major pain in the ass, since I just freaking bought them. Luckily a lot of them are drawstring because I foresaw this.
Mayhem lost her first tooth last night! While brushing teeth she kept complaining about it hurting, so, I harassed Smart Ass into yanking on it. (He absolutely loathes yanking teeth out. Feels they should just fall out on their own. I say, (in the words of the dear Pill, "BAH!" It's a part of childhood to yank loose teeth out.) Well it came out on the second try, very little blood, and no tears (from Mayhem anyway...). She has a super cute gap on the bottom now, and four shiny quarters just waiting to be used on something she doesn't need.
We never did get the bathroom done this weekend. Had too many other things going on, but we have plenty of time to do it. Found out yesterday that our a/c and furnace are on their last legs. They should make it through the year, but it's best not to push it. Especially the a/c unit. Vexing. But, at least we have advance notice, so we can start socking money away. The system is 31 years old, we really couldn't have expected it to last much longer.
Off to watch Howl's Moving Castle for the 800th time!
I have no witty titles for you. I'm sorry.
In between yesterday's training snippets, I had to re-install everything on my computer. I got like.. an ass load of viruses on there, and we just couldn't get them off So, I sucked it up and Smart Ass reformatted my hard drive. It was painful. It took me all day yesterday to install everything, and I just barely managed to get WoW and all my add ons installed in time for the Raid. I was cutting it close lemme tell you. I remembered just about everything though, including Vent. But totally forgot my macros...
This morning at 6am we had a dumpster delivered, we'll be redoing the downstairs bathroom. I'm both excited and nervous. We'll also be using any extra dumpster space for cleaning the garage and just generally chucking clutter. I think I'm more excited about that then about the bathroom. :p
I'm still chugging along with my training, nothing new to report. I'm getting some great control around corners, and the skates are now super light for me. My legs are firming nicely too. Rawr!
I may have hurt my pinkie again. During my dealings with a tantrum throwing Havoc this morning, I got kicked in the finger.
Holy crap. That hurt. The swelling is back in the knuckle, and it hurts to move it again. So back on Motrin and taped back up.
Kids.
This is the lamest of updates, since I have nothing new or interesting to report. Tomorrow and the day after are likely to be filled with info all about bathroom remodeling. But I should have some pretty nice pictures of it on Monday when it's done!
Think I can count swinging a sledge hammer and installing a toilet as "upper body work?
So, it's technically day 3 of training. I didn't get to my balance exercises or the Pilates, yesterday but I did skate around my kitchen for a half hour, and I did my squats. Squats are already done for today, skating and Pilates to follow (most likely tonight). I'm feeling a lot more comfortable on my skates now, they feel lighter, and I feel like I have more control. Not enough control, but more.
Grace is still lacking, but, I figure that'll come in time. I'm so glad I have a sizable kitchen. It really helps to be able to learn to turn corners and to move on a smooth surface. I'll be hitting an open skate this weekend (hopefully) to work on speed and stamina. Right now I just want to be comfortable on wheels and have my legs not turn to rubber when I've been in them for a long time. Once I start hitting regular practices then I expect the finesse I am missing now.
Healing news! The pinkie, while still painful, is much better. I tape it up for taking care of things that cause it some grief, like diaper changes and coffee cup hefting. :p I let it out of the tape at bedtime and when it gets sweaty. It's a good thing I heal so quickly, I think it's going to come in handy.
The elbow scrapes are healing up quick too. The gorier one will still occasionally ooze (it's a really good scrape, that one) but it's not a big deal. My butt bruise still hurts, rolling over on it is not fun.
But I feel great! I'm really proud of the work I'm putting in, and will be putting in, to this, and I'm so excited to get out there and get serious. I've never done competitive sport before, outside of P.E. and even then, it's P.E. who cares, you know?
It's a small update, but I fully intend to update daily. I am looking at my Blog as a way to measure my progress, and to help me keep my sense of humor intact during the inevitable injuries. :)
Actually it's concrete, but
you get the idea.
For nigh on a year now, I have been considering Roller Derby. As an outlet for my competitive nature, as a means of continuous exercise, as a way to get out of the house but still have fun. After one of my Mommy Board friends made her local Derby Team, I thought about it even harder. Until she said, "Holy crap! Do it!" And because I am nothing if not easily influenced by my friends, I finally sucked it up and went for it.
I bought me some fresh and lovely skates, some kick ass socks, and wrist guards. I sent an email to my local Derby Team, and the wheels were set in motion.
As of Monday, July 14th, I am in training. Woo! It has been 20 years since I have had grace on skates, and I am far over the weight I wish to be. But I am determined, and excited. We'll see how long that lasts for hmm?
Last night I had about 30 min. of skating under my belt before I fell the first time. Six feet and about 3 flailing minutes later, I fall, hard. Two scraped elbows and what is most likely a fractured pinkie finger tip. (No, I am not going to the flipping doctor. They'd take x-rays, and tape it, or stick it in one of those stupid splints. I can do that crap at home, for free... well not the x-ray part, but you know...)
Check that out. My ring finger, is actually fine,the specks on that are from fabric dye and left over nail polish. It was iguana green in case you were wondering.
It hurts like all get out, and the first knuckle is pretty swollen. Motrin in the day, and Tylenol PM at night, and a little bit of red wine seem to be helping with the pain.
ETHT (Estimated Heal Time): 1 week. I tend to heal very quickly, which is a good thing, because.. I sense much healing in my future..
The worst part of the taping is that it gets wicked sweaty between my fingers, so I untape them, to air out. Which makes me walk around with my hand high in the air, so it's out of danger. Because my house, if fraught with danger for injuries.
This is my left elbow. It's not too bad. It hurts a little, but it's your average, everyday scraped elbow. It was worse when it was oozy. But now it's dried out and doesn't hurt as badly. It also doesn't look as bad. Little Bactine spray and I was aces. (Oh man, the smell of Bactine brings me back to my childhood. My Mom bought that stuff in bulk.)
This reminds me, I'm going to need to add some of the big band aids and some more neosporin to my first aid kit...
My right elbow. It's just typical road rash. Though it does look like I'll have a pretty feisty bruise pop up in a day or too.
This is the elbow that belongs to the pinkie finger. I'm thinking my pinkie took the brunt of that fall.
I also got a huge bruise on my butt, because I landed on a rock. I did not take pictures for obvious reasons.
I don't think I'll be hitting the streets of my subdivision on my skates again anytime soon. They just aren't smooth enough and are so poorly maintained that it's easy to fall and hurt yourself.
Today's exercise goals:
20 minutes of Pilates (Gotta work on my Core.)
The Balance games on Wii Fit. (Cause everyone on the planet knows I need to work on my balance)
Skating around my kitchen for a random amount of time. (Just to get used to the heft of the skates, and the looseness of the wheels)
I'll let you know tomorrow how that all goes!
Wish me luck!
Sometime back in May Noggin and Nickelodeon began showing commercials for a stuffed animal called a "Furberry". They were apparently, stuffed bears, dogs, and cats, that rolled up into a giant fruit and smelled of the fruit they rolled into. They played these commercials at least once an hour, every hour. If the TV was on for more then a half hour, you can bet that a Furberry commercial was soon to air.
Mayhem was smitten.
In a big way.
In a HUGE way.
Frankly, it was the most adorable, heartfelt nagging we have ever been subject to.
"Mommy, can I have a Furberry?"
"We'll see."
"Mommy! I found a money! Is it enough to buy a Furberry?"
Clutching her found money, a single dirty penny, in her fist, she handed her worldly wealth over to me.
"Baby. I will talk to Daddy. We'll see where we can get one tonight."
Budget be damned. That baby was getting a Furberry.
One problem.
The damn things weren't on the market yet.
I couldn't get a hold of one for love or money, and there was no info anywhere on when they'd actually be on the market.
Through a little research, we found out who made them. And under guise of being a small boutique toy store, Smart Ass went to work.
They apparently wouldn't be ready for market until the new fiscal year, which for that company, was August/September.
Those bastards advertised this toy, heavy rotation style, 4 full months before these damn things would hit store shelves.
That kind of cruelty should've been outlawed in the Geneva Convention.
So we tell our small and sweet little Mayhem, "Honey bee, the Furberries aren't being made yet. But they should be ready in time for your birthday!"
"They don't make the Furberries?"
"Not yet baby."
"I found another money. We should put it away to get a Furberry."
BASTARDS!
The next five months were torture for us. Every time little Mayhem came running to us, a look of joy on her face, with a grubby penny laying in the center of her hand, asking, "Do we have enough money for a Furberry now?" I would mist up, and choking back tears I would say, "Baby, don't you worry about the money ok? When the Furberries are in stores, I promise you, you will have one."
And poor Smart Ass. Every night, he'd be greeted at the door with a "Daddy! Did you bring me home a Furberry?!"
It gutted us.
I have been checking major toy store websites every single day since then.
On Tuesday, I hit paydirt.
2 Furberries are on their way to our house. One Strawberry puppy, and one Cherry Bear. (Because Havoc will need one if Mayhem has one)
He has already been named.
"Pup"
She is planning on taking him out to the backyard when he gets here. So he can "go pee pee". Because dogs don't use the bathroom.
I swear, on all that I hold dear, if I ever meet the marketing jerk who thought it'd be a great idea to create "buzz" about Furberries before they were even close to hitting the market, he will crawl away from that meeting sore, bruised, and bloodied, but with a much clearer idea of why he should not do that.
